28 October, 2006
Leaving for Liberia

Today I’m getting on a plane to Liberia. Six days later I fly to Nigeria. In both places Men’s Resources International will be working with women and men who are committed to ending violence in their communities.

In Liberia MRI has been contracted by the International Rescue Committee (IRC) to help develop and launch a “Men’s Involvement Project.” The IRC already has gender-based violence programs providing services to women in many of the countries where they work. When I land in Monrovia on Sunday night, I will begin five days of consultation with IRC staff and the Liberian Ministry of Gender and Development with whom they are working closely. We will be preparing for a return visit in early 2007 when MRI will conduct an extensive MRI training of Liberian men to be outreach workers and facilitators of men’s involvement in gender-based violence prevention.

Next Friday, a short flight will take me to Lagos, Nigeria. At the airport, if all goes well, I will meet up with Fidele from Rwanda (who just started the Rwanda Men’s Centre), Stephen and Stanislaus from Zambia (leaders of the Zambian Men’s Network). Together, we will travel via air and car to the Nigerian city, Abakaliki. MRI Associate Director, James Arana, (who will have already been in Abakaliki for two days), and I will then conduct an MRI training for the Ebonyi Men’s Resource Centre, where the MRI training will take place.

We return together to Massachusetts on November 14.

As you can imagine, I am filled with excitement by the many challenges and opportunities of this journey. We will do our best to send regular journal updates and photographs to Daniel Coyne, at MRI headquarters in Springfield, who will post them on our website weblog, where you can also post your comments and questions.

Our mission, “mobilizing networks of men, in alliance with women, to act as role models for violence prevention and positive masculinity,” is guiding us in the journey. Your love and support is welcome and deeply appreciated. We know we do not travel alone.

In commitment and faith,

— Steven Botkin, Executive Director
Men's Resouces International, USA

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Date: Monday, 30 October 2006, 18:02:37
Thoughts from Liberia

Dear friends and colleagues,

I've made it to Liberia. The country is completely amazing. Bombed buildings and UN peacekeepers everywhere. Hordes of yellow taxis honking their way through streets crowded with colorful people. A country in post-war jubiliation and trauma, reminds me of traveling to Israel one month after the 1967 war.

The International Rescue Committee is one among many major international NGOs (non-governmental organizations) with high visibility. This is a world I am quickly learning to understand and navigate.

The people in the GBV (gender-based violence) program are a wonderful mix of internationals (from the U.S., Kenya, Ethiopia among other), and Liberians, many of whom have been involved during the war. The new male involvement coordinator, Joseph Bala, is very intelligent and compassionate and has a smile that is even bigger than mine. Today we met with a number of the male and female staff of IRC. They now have a very good feeling for the MRI strategy and style, and I can say confidently that there is a feeling of alliance that is already very strong.

Tomorrow we meet with people from the Ministry of Gender and Development, another important constituency to build relationship with.

I am thrilled about these challenges, and miss having my colleague James with me to share them. I am sending my love out to him as he travels today to Nigeria.

With love to you all from Africa,
Steven

Steven Botkin, Executive Director
Men's Resouces International, USA

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Tuesday, 31 October, 2006
MRI building relationships in Liberia

Dear Friends and Colleagues,

I am living in a comfortable house in the IRC compound with two men from Kenya and one from Ethiopia who work in the reproductive health and blood donation programs of IRC. The compound has five houses for ex-pats, and IRC staff from other countries. Surrounded by 15 foot cement walls topped with glass shards and rolled barbed wire,. The entrance has large metal gates staffed with 24 hour security. All of our travel in Monrovia is mediated via a staff of drivers in white vans with large radio antennae on the front hood and the IRC logo on the sides.

My day today spanned a huge spectrum of life in Liberia - meeting with the Deputy Minister of Gender in the morning, and a grassroots group of women and of men in a make-shift women's center in the afternoon.

Chicken Soup Factory is a community on the outskirts of Monrovia (named after a business that used to operate in the area). The women's center was constructed by putting woven grass mats over one of the unfinished cinderblock structures that are crowded together in the area. We were welcomed into the room by 35 singing, drumming and dancing women of all ages wearing paper crowns decorated with words challenging domestic violence. Interspersed with songs and a skit, they spoke to us about how they formed their group during the war, and their desire to have men as active partners in their work. As if on cue, a group of 10 men filed into the room, members of Men for Peace, another informal group founded during the war. They all listened intently as Ballah affirmed their vision of women and men working together, and I told them about the pioneering nature of their developing pa rtnership, and described the work of women and men like themselves in Zambia, Nigeria and Rwanda. After the meeting was adjourned Ballah and I met with the men to affirm their commitment and discuss next steps.

It is exciting to be working as a consultant for an organization (IRC) that has developed such a strong foundation of relationships, infrastructure and momentum in their GBV programs. Everyone is eager for and receptive to a male involvement program, and my expertise is being put to good use in advising managers on program development, coaching and mentoring staff on presentation design and facilitation, and inspiring community activists and organizers. I have been paying particular attention to developing staff skills in dialogue between women and men, and emphasizing the importance of practicing with each other. Tomorrow we take another step at the GBV staff meeting.

In commitment and faith,

— Steven Botkin, Executive Director
Men's Resouces International, USA

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Wednesday, 1 November, 2006
Learning about Liberia

This morning the Male Involvement Project was discussed with most of the GBV (Gender-Based Violence) staff, a group of about 30 women and four men. Sitting in rows of benches in the grass covered open air "palava hut", the group had a lively discussion of the pros and cons of including men in the GBV program, and what could be done to address some of their concerns. I watched amazed that I was in Liberia, Africa, listening to women and men, barely one year after the end of a devastating 14 year civil war, talking with passion and wisdom about how to include men in their work to end gender-based violence. It was easy for me to end the morning affirming the pioneering nature of their work.

After a group lunch of rice, and spiced fish and chicken, a small group met to review plans to conduct surveys (adapted from the one we used in Zambia) and focus groups in the three counties being targeted for piloting of the Male Involvement Project.

Then, I was off to the airport (again) to retrieve my suitcase that was lost in transit from the U.S. I have been surviving (quite nicely) with the clothes I arrived in, plus two shirts quickly (and expensively) grabbed in the London airport. However, I was excited to be reunited with my bag, especially as I leave for Nigeria on Friday.

Waiting for the plane to arrive, I struck up a conversation with the IRC driver who took me. Tuni has been driving for IRC for four years and nets $132US per month. He is supporting a family of four, and putting his daughters and wife through school. His father was killed during the war, when he was in 10th grade, so he could not pursue his higher education. He himself was assaulted by rebels during the war, tied up and told he was going to be killed. Thankfully, a senior officer came by and intervened. Tuni was a national soccer star, but the war prevented him from getting out of the country to play internationally. He dreams of going back to school to get a certificate in computer repair, but cannot afford the $200US this would take. In spite of all this, his commitment to his family and his work are strong, and his faith is powerful.

And this is a common story here in Liberia. Everyone has been profoundly traumatized by the war.

Within minutes of my conversation with Tuni, a boy approached me saying "I want somebody to be my friend." Although I was alert for being manipulated or pick pocketed, we started to talk. He tells me that both of his parents were killed in the war, and he is living with the parents of a friend who are abusive to him. He is the captain of his football (e.g. soccer) team. When I ask him why he is looking for a friend, he says "so that somebody will remember me." It was heartbreaking for me to leave him, with a dollar in his hand and a squeeze on the shoulder.

Tomorrow is Liberian thanksgiving. I give thanks for all the blessings of my life.

With a full heart, Steven


Steven Botkin, Executive Director
Men's Resouces International, USA

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2 November, 2006
Liberia -- Day 4

This morning, one of my housemates returned home to Ethiopia. He had been working for IRC in their reproductive health unit for four months. There are many "ex-pats" (people on extended work contracts away from their home country) employed in Liberia through the numerous international organizations operating here. It is a challenging lifestyle, and I'm very glad I am a consultant/trainer who can return home in two weeks.

Today, Kelly (gender-based violence program coordinator for Liberia) invited other international NGOs interested in GBV (gender-based violence) programs to meet with me and learn more about IRC's Men's Involvement Project. At the table were people from the United Nations Relief Agency (UNHCR), UNICEF, the Christian Children's Fund, the United Nations Family Planning Association, and the American Refugee Council, as well as Annie from the Ministry of Gender. My description of MRI's approach to understanding and engaging men obviously intrigued and inspired everyone. They were also very appreciated of my expertise and advice in helping to organize an interagency campaign to engage men in violence prevention. The next step will be including men in the annual march against violence during the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence in late November.

This meeting enhanced IRC's role as a leader on this issue, and established MRI's expertise as a valuable resource. They were already asking if they could send their staff to the MRI training planned for our next visit to Liberia.

Kelly, Sara, Ballah and I had a debriefing meeting at a nearby beachside restaurant. (Suddenly, there were white people.) In addition to an overview of my recommendations, I gave them gifts of the "courage=compassion" t-shirts and handbooks we were bringing for the Nigeria training, a poster from the Family Violence Prevention Fund, a book on engaging men in violence prevention, copies of Voice Male magazine, and a poster from the Women's Fund of Western Massachusetts. We all agreed that this consultation had accomplished a tremendous amount in the four days of my visit.

The day ended with a dinner at our house with three Kenyan men and a woman from Liberia who is the reproductive health program coordinator for IRC. "Mama G" told us about her experiences as a displaced person during the war, helping to build health clinics in border towns with Ivory Coast. She then had us feel the bomb shrapnel still lodged in her neck that almost killed her three years ago.

Tomorrow I leave for Nigeria. Unfortunately, my plane flight from Monrovia to Lagos has been delayed to the afternoon, which means I will miss the last connecting flight towards my destination in Abakaliki. I am supposed to meet the delegates from Rwanda and Zambia and the guide from Abakaliki at the Lagos Airport, a daunting prospect under the best of circumstances. My experiences traveling in Africa have helped me to learn to take each challenge as it comes, and have faith that it will work out, just not always in my timeframe.

With thanksgiving for all of our experiences of peace, Steven

— Steven Botkin, Executive Director
Men's Resouces International, USA

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Friday, 3 November, 2006
Leaving Liberia

After packing my bag, I spent the morning at the IRC office preparing my report on the first visit and coaching Ballah and Alfred (MIP trainer) on a workshop design on male socialization and violence. The afternoon drive to the airport was filled with a flood of gratitude - for the opportunity to witness Liberia at this moment in history, for being able to reach so many people in such a short time, for the work of IRC and other NGOs in providing support in the recovery and reconstruction, and for the resilience and beauty of the Liberian people in the face of poverty and war.

And then I sat in the airport for the next four hours waiting for the plane to depart. By the time I reached Lagos it was nighttime, and I was grateful to be met at the airport by a tall man with a beaming smile who wrapped me in an enthusiastic hug. Uduma, my guide from DOVENET in Abakaliki, then introduced me to Fidele, who had just arrived from Rwanda. Stephen and Stanislaus from Zambia had arrived early, and traveled to Abakaliki in the same day. We needed to stay the night in Lagos.

The energy of Lagos was like New York City with a third world lens. Our driver wove through traffic at high speed. Interactions with others had the hard edge. And we were cautioned to keep our doors locked and windows rolled up. Everywhere we turned someone was looking for a handout. I was very glad to have Uduma and the driver with us for the night. Between the four of us, the conversation lasted well into the small hours of the morning.

— Steven Botkin, Executive Director
Men's Resouces International, USA

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